Dimwits
by Eagle Lord
Summary: The Mauraders figure out that Remus is a werewolf . . . with a little help. By the way, I don't really think they are this stupid. (I own known of the characters or the school or anything in the story)


Half way through the first year at Hogwarts, James and Sirius are doing homework:  
  
James: Hey Sirius, have you noticed anything odd about Remus?  
  
Sirius: No. You?  
  
James: No. Just asking. He's sick a lot, huh?  
  
Peter: (Running in) What are you talking about?  
  
James: Remus. Have you noticed anything about him, you know, unnatural?  
  
Peter/Sirius: No.  
  
James: Oh. Good. I'm glad to get that cleared up.  
  
Lily: (Walking up) Hey James! Hey everyone. You look thoughtful. What happened?   
  
James: Nothing. I just have this strange feeling that we don't know something about Remus.  
  
Lily: Like what are you talking about?  
  
James: Hmm . . . not sure, just some kind of secret.  
  
Sirius: Maybe he's a super hero by night!  
  
James: Nah.   
  
Peter: I don't think there's anything.  
  
Lily: Haven't you guys noticed that he goes away for the night once a month?  
  
James: Yeah. That's what I'm talking about.  
  
Sirius: Maybe he's a psycho killer . . . once a month!  
  
James: That doesn't seem likely.   
  
Sirius: Maybe he's a girl!  
  
James: Don't think so.  
  
Peter: Maybe he . . .  
  
James: Anyway, why do you all think he does that? Plus, he's sick all the time.  
  
Peter: I was saying, he could . . .  
  
Sirius: Ok, maybe he's an elephant!  
  
Lily/James: What?  
  
Sirius: I dunno. I was out of ideas. You got anything, Peter?  
  
Peter: Yes! I've been trying to say that he might . . .  
  
Lily: Wait, wait, I've got an idea!   
  
James: Yeah?  
  
Lily: We could . . . dun dun dun . . . ASK HIM!  
  
James/Sirius: Nah.  
  
Peter: You guys, I think . . .  
  
Remus: Hey everyone! What's going on?  
  
Lily: We were just talking about, well, you.  
  
Remus: What about me?  
  
Lily: Well, you get sick a lot . . .  
  
Remus: Oh.  
  
Lily: And you go away once a month . . .  
  
Remus: Yeah.  
  
James: And you always know when the full moon is . . .  
  
Remus: Um, yeah.  
  
Sirius: So basically, we have no idea why.  
  
Remus: What? You can't be serious.  
  
Sirius: I'm very Sirius! Always am!  
  
James: And you always get nervous when werewolves come up in Defense Against the Dark Arts . ..  
  
Remus: Uh huh.  
  
Lily: And you are always talking to the nurse about something secret . . .   
  
Remus: Yes yes.   
  
Peter: Yeah, what I was trying to say was . . .  
  
Sirius: Really, what does it all mean?  
  
James: We crave to know.  
  
Lily: We can't figure it out  
  
.  
  
Remus: I don't believe this. You really can't?  
  
James/Sirius/Lily: No.  
  
Peter: But I . . .  
  
Remus: Think about it for a minute. It'll come to you.  
  
James: Hmm . . .  
  
Lily: Huh.  
  
Sirius: Maybe . . . no.  
  
Peter: I think that . . .  
  
Remus: Keeping thinking. You're bound to get it.  
  
James: Just tell us.   
  
Lily: Well, you're always hurt when you come back in the morning before you get to hospital wing .  
  
. .  
  
James: And you said one time that werewolves weren't evil, even though he thought they were . . .  
  
Sirius: I'm still getting nothing.  
  
Peter: Yes, which means . . .  
  
James: There must be some clue that could lead us to know, I just can't think of it.  
  
Lily: I just know we're missing something we should know about.  
  
Peter: Yeah, you guys . . .  
  
Sirius: This is bugging me now.  
  
James: Let's see what else there is . . .  
  
Lily: This is hard. Give us a hint?  
  
Remus: Ok, here's a hint: I'M A BLOODY WEREWOLF!   
  
Pause  
  
James/Sirius/Lily: Oh . . .  
  
James: He's a werewolf . . .  
  
Sirius: Yeah, one of those . . .  
  
Lily: Yeah, we should have know . . .  
  
Peter: I knew!  
  
James: It was so obvious.  
  
Remus: Uh huh! Geez, I have to spell everything out for you.  
  
Lily: So . . . what happens now?  
  
Remus: Now I act all upset and say I'll leave if you feel uncomfortable around me.  
  
James: Then what?  
  
Remus: They you comfort me and say no way, you're still my friends.  
  
Sirius: Cool. Then what?  
  
Remus: Tell you what. We'll work it out when we get there.  
  
James: Ok, go ahead.  
  
Remus: (Clearing throat) Ok, I'll leave now, if you feel uncomfortable around me.  
  
James: No way!  
  
Sirius: We're your friends, really. There's no reason to go.  
  
Lily: Yeah, you should have told us. We're your friends, right?  
  
Remus: Yeah, ok, next time I get bitten I'll tell you. You're right.  
  
Sirius: How 'bout a group hug now?  
  
Pause  
  
James: How 'bout not?  
  
Lily: Yeah, that works.  
  
Remus: Cool. Are we all ok now?  
  
Peter: I was before.  
  
James: Yeah, we're ok. I can't believe known of us saw this before!  
  
Peter: I DID!  
  
They all look at him  
  
James: Then why didn't you say anything?  
  
Peter: ARGHHHH!  
  
Peter runs out. They all shrug and go back to doing homework. 


End file.
